Marriage institution has been here since the formation or evolution of the World.It is old as the world it’s self.The unison between men and women through this institution has brought people of all walks of life including the undesired and those who help to steer on the dos and don’t s of it’s existence.
People like Barack Obama,the USA president,the medical practitioners,the wise like King Solomon in the Bible and the least person you know who stay in your village,all came through this mother of all institution – no doubt.
Everyone mentioned and those you will name as you read this article danced on the stage of making your world better and some eventually left the stage for the others to dance.The death claimed many and the others were made inactive through multiple sickness or age.The politicians,economists and social practitioners,their mothers and fathers might have been into the partnership through marriage.
The unison of a man and woman in Africa and other continents of the world is ushered in differently.The Ganda culture women are officially married after suitors had met the parents and relatives of the bride through a joint gathering at the father of the bride’s home they call ” Okwanjula” in Luganda language.Even other Traditions in Africa has a system they use that convey blessings on the newly found lover birds in exchange for material things that goes to the family of the bride.
Do not ask me whether the collection of money and property from the family of the groom is not in it’s self a sale of women because I cannot give a satisfying answer or explanation.Why! because it’s proponents especially women want it the way it is.” the money has a big role it plays in the acquisition of a sexual partner” One Ganda woman conferred to me.” Saabwe my husband had to part with two cows and an assortments of useable homesteads materials things before I was allowed to stay with him in marriage” she continued.She said that their marriage was blessed with seven children – four girls and three boys ” Saabwe cannot say that he made losses when she married me” she concluded with a laugh.I later learn t from her associates that her wedding party according to the standard of the time marveled every one.
Better said than done.That was the way the marriage institution was in the previous centuries and every body respected the norms of the institution without ado.
However, to my prospective, a lot has changed negatively in the institution and the changes as we shall see weakened the institution to the detriment of preservation of discipline,ethics and culture.Today! where the so called modernity has taken root,girls and boys find themselves at schools,internet cafes, funeral rites, in the vehicles while on route to their destinations,music galas when they have gone to listen to the variety of their songs.By no arrangements of their own begin talk and kiss.The grown ups it has been found out that they get slightly to know each other at their places of work or at the political meetings and exchange business cards or phone numbers there and then.The marriage journey for them has began,so they say.
Another woman whose cohabitation had failed when I found her selling cooked food in Jinja municipal council market told me that she found the father of her four children in the Disco and that all arrangements of staying together were discussed and concluded there ” the following day I was in the house he rented in Walukuba housing estate playing the role of a wife.Both my parents and relatives learn t of our relationship when I delivered my first child” she said.She told me that the father of her children lost interest in her ” she used to beat me whenever I demanded for money to buy the needs of the family.It become worse when I borrowed money from a savings and credit society to start an income generating activity of my own.He called me a lot of names including a rebel and a prostitute and eventually sent me out of his house empty handed.Apparently I was simply lack that he did not kill me as other women I hear who have lost their lives under the hands of their lovers” She concluded.
Parents have been left out of the game of marriage by the modern youth.Those in love hate to hear their pieces of advice.Those who dare to do so monopolize the arrangements and the discussions.It has been found out that sexual intercourse before marriage has dwindled the urge for one to stay permanently with his/her sexual partners.The love for money has driven many potential men from asking the hands of women in marriage.Men say that during the time of dating women demand a lot of material things and money.” you cannot sustain today’s woman,the outings and communication expenses unless you have enough money always on you but at the forbearance of personal growth” Kalyesubula a single man who reside in Buziika village,Njeru town council,Buikwe district said.
Other married people say that the marriage institution is characterized by torture and all sorts of violence ” you hear them quarrel all the time.Women and children suffer a lot in such circumstances and many grow in separation.I cannot bear married life any more”Kabenge John of the same village of Kalyesubula lamented.Judging from what you see and hear about the marriage institution and the many issues known by many people that make marriage life unbearable not mentioned in this write up,you will accept the argument that modern marriage institution is on it’s death bed and you are sorry about it.
What can you and I do to nurse the institution and resuscitate it so that it improves and continue to provide the unity among those in love.We need the institution to exist with us,no doubt about it.It goes without saying that the only way to prove that you have been sleeping is to wake up.